Reading the book “How to Make Friends with Anyone” by James Skinner, Royce Krueger and Mark Victor Hansen has inspired me a lot. In one sentence I can conclude that “Make friends with anybody is easy.” It is very practical and simple, but only because it is simple, most people often “forget” about it.

I personally don’t feel much challenges on making friends with anybody, unless there are resistance from the other party. I am a person with a flexible personality, I mainly can adjust with most of people’s character. But I admit that there are still some characters that are difficult to approach. I realize that everybody is unique. Some characters are fun and easy, some are difficult or even annoying. I have dealt with short tempered people. One of my friend is really irritating when he comes to anger. When his temper is up, everyone else is always at fault. Another friend of mine is so called a “funny” person. Even by saying “Good morning!” to him will be a fatal mistake if he is not in the good mood. Of course to deal with these people requires a lot of emotional sacrifices to maintain friendship with them, at least that what I feel, even though I always have a choice to just simply stay away from them.

The book itself describes practical methods of how to make friends with them such as: Smile when we meet friends, Ask for their help, Be happy to see them, Find commonalities not difference, Listen more to them and etc. From my friendship experiences, I truly believe that with those methods above, all people around the world can be my friend.

How many people know that smile can affect the feeling of other people who are in the bad mood? But nowadays, I see more people prefer to show their “long black face” when they meet with others. How many people truly realize that every single human has two ears and one mouth, so that they can listen more? But some people really prefer to talk more rather than being ears to others, even some of them talk without thinking first. Another common excuses to not making friends is that “Everyone seems so different!” Like I have mentioned above that everyone indeed is unique and different from each other, therefore we should think that with those differences, we should be able to “complete” with each other. Strength and weakness are combined with others’ strength and weakness. My strength will help other people weakness and other people’s strength will help my weakness… eventually we will become “perfected”. From there, find commonalities that can be the base of rapport building.

More and more people prefer to be individualistic, but I feel that it is going to be very scary if all people in this world think that social skill is no longer important, because human will lose their essence as a “social creature” where they will always need friends. Friendship is the root of peace.

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There was a time when I thought that my dreams are just dreams. For example, during my school days, I’ve always wanted to be a teacher. But then I ended up in Engineering course, walking away from my dreams. Most of the time, because I didn’t really enjoy my work as engineer, my mind often wondered around asking will I ever go into teaching and education? Will I ever be having my students someday? Will I ever be marking paper like what my teacher always did last time? I want it! I really want it!

It took courage to let go what I have already had in Engineering and moved into Education, but what made me sure that what I did was the best thing I’ve ever done in my life is: I felt a great amount of satisfaction flooding my life. That time I knew that I have done the right thing that I should have done it long time before, even with certain consequences for leaving engineering without any background in Education Industry.

The book of “The Process of Achieving An Impossible Goal” by James Skinner and Royce Krueger made me realize that METHOD is the most important thing in realizing “impossible dreams”. Practical method will help more than practical goal or practical dream. And the very first thing is WHY do I want that dream? I must know the reason behind my dreams, and from there apply the perfect practical method to start going towards the goal or dream.

After I read this book, it made me think so much about why do I really want it. Is it a really something that I want or just a blast of an interest from my childhood. But then I realize that my dream of becoming a teacher is NEVER perished by time, from my school days to my working life, it is always there, waiting to be fulfilled. The calling from within my heart was never be mute by the great promises of Engineering Industry. To me, I believe these are the signs that I do really dream of it, a confirmation of what do I really want it, and I understand fully WHY did I want it.

I understand why did I want to be teacher. I understand why did I want to leave Engineering and move to Education. It’s because I have the passion and IT IS my calling. That’s my passion and I love it. So far I have taken the first step of the practical method to achieve what I want, which was quitting Engineering and really moved! Now, I even have my own students, step by step what I want has become true. And there are more to achieve by applying the perfect practical method. The next practical method will be guiding my students to the best of them. I realize my mission, and it is possible to be true!

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I believe everybody agree that family, especially parents have very important role of educating their children. In fact, parents are role models for their children. Like it or not, every single child will take after example from what the parents always do in their life. Therefore it is very important for parents to really know what they are doing in their life. A child who is used to see his/her parents fighting each other, will have tendency to be more violent in the future. A child who is used to see his/her parents going back home late at night getting drunk, will have more tendency to become a drunker someday. A child who is used to hear vulgarity from his/her parents will use the same things to his/her friends or other people as well.

I have observed nowadays family life, and here are the two “fatal mistakes” that normally will occur in a family:

1. A lot of people think that the most important thing for kids is just facility, therefore a lot of parents are just giving money as “facility” for them, without spending more quality time for their children. It is understandable that parents are also busy working to fulfill the needs of the family, it is also very important. But sometimes a line must be drawn just to free time for children, to build more qualified relationship with them and understand them. From what I have learnt, communication is the key to educate children. As for me I always remember that every single child is different individual to others, and it is totally wrong to think that all children are the same. Even children can be very different from their parents in term of talents and mindset. I personally admire a mother who sacrifices her full-time job and makes it becomes part-time job, or even become just a housewife, in order to have more time with the children, but of course it is not the only way to have more time with the children. Investing time for our children means securing our future as well.
2. Some parents put too many trust on their children until they fail to see theirs. It is awesome to put trust to children, to teach responsibility, but some parents then start to think that whatever their children do is always correct. If their children are involved in trouble in school for example, they always think that it must be caused by others children, without even spending time to evaluate what has happened. This will make children start to think that it’s alright to do whatever they want to do because their parents are always act as their defender. Sometimes, it is good to let the children feel the effect of getting involved in trouble by letting them receive the punishment. It is good to teach children that in the reality, situation will not always be fair for them, and there are some situations that they must learn how to accept it. Teach them about the real life… not by words only, but also by example/action.

I am really inspired in children education after reading the book of “Teaching Your Children Success” by James Skinner and Royce Krueger. The 11 rules are very inspiring to me.

1. Unconditional Love
2. Action
3. Be a role model
4. Recognize their successes
5. See your children bigger than yourself
6. Provide them with growth and proper education
7. Satisfy their curiosity
8. Teach children about what money really is
9. Teach children to make friends with high character people
10. Be a high role model
11. Honor the children when they walk their own path

These should be a magnificent “bible” for parents to educate the next generations.

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In today’s fast moving world, qualities such as gratitude seem to belong to another age.  I have noticed that some of  us will show gratitude in the sake of showing but not truly grow inside our heart.  We do not actually show gratitude; we become gratitude. Gratitude is not a matter of showing. Here I have a finger and I can show it. No, it is not like that. The moment we want to show gratitude, we take away the sweetness, the real wealth, the real secret or real power. So gratitude we don’t show; we don’t even express it. Gratitude is something that we grow into, we become.

The GREAT thing that i learnt when i joined ADVO-ISUN family is I started to inculcate gratitude in me. I appreciate everything around me, stop blaming and did something that I hold back since young. I started to express my love to my beloved parents by hugging, show my love through words and appreciate everything around me and these are the things that I hold back and dare not do.

I have noticed that the more I develop the quality of gratitude in my life, I start feeling grateful even when bad things happen to me, because I will have developed the inner vision to see that good things and bad happenings are nothing but experiences to shape me and make me stronger. Hence I will be able to have piece of mind no matter what the outer circumstances are.

I think the beautiful thing about this state  is that when I’m in it, I am just in the flow, conscously soaking in the blessings life showers on me every day, naturally doing the best thing I can do……Life just becomes so much simpler and more enjoyable!

If you want to turn your life around, attempt it with thankfulness.  It will change your life mightily.  ~Gerald Good

                                         

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Many people know what to do,
But few care how to do,
And fewer still dare to do…….

Often part of us wants to change, but, there is a part of us which consciously or subconsciously wants to hold on to the undivided part of us. There is a subtle pride in maintaining our grimness, our misery. We feel that to be happy is to humble our ego. The problem is we come to identify ourselves with this part of us which is holding us back. If we see our own folly it becomes easier to let go of it. Again the key is we need to want to change.

After reading this Ebook, I have learned that every change comes first from a change of mind, a change of heart, and a change of thought we made. Most of the people know what to change but making the decision to change is not enough. If you are serious about wanting to improve yourself you must make the change. There’s no if’s and’s or but’s about it. You can change and it is in this very instant that you must make the decision. Besides, we have got to make it stick with as every change we get in life comes from our patterns of thought.

I know that I need to change the way I organizing and prioritise work. Sometimes when I have lots of work in my hand. I’ll choose to do many things at one time and not one at a time. Ended up the result produced is not the one I planned. I need to practise first rate execution, hold tight with my decision and stay focus in doing work to produce extraordinary results! In addition, to work effectively I need uninterrupted blocks of time in which I can complete a particularly intense task, dedicate blocks of time to the task during which I will not do anything else and stay focus!!!

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How to make friends with anyone.

Seven Simple Steps to Finding Friends Forever

I was just summarizing the seven key components to build friendship.

1. Smile

2. Share the other person’s reality

3. Be happy to see them

4. Listen with interest

5. Call the other person by their name

6. Ask other people for help

7. Take time to be there for them

For the first time I felt that I don’t need to learn anything from this e-book. This chapter is simply redundant! I don’t mean to criticize but I just feel that to gain friendship and trust from the people you love, one must come with an open heart, sincerity and happiness.

I love smiling at my friends, even if they don’t, I would make sure they share with me what’s happening and get them to pour it out to me, because I am always ready to listen and I am really interested to know what’s stopping them from being happy! I have no powerful words to describe how I feel friendship as but I don’t want to just smile and make friends just because it’s great to have a lot of friends. I want true friends who see the equal importance as I do to them and each friendship I have is always very special. If not I will always have my ways to step in closer into their lives, like what James Skinner had stated, “asking them for help”  so that I can make them feel important and powerful. I don’t need to go into such moves so much cause building friendships shouldn’t be technical! It’s from the Heart! If you love somebody, just let nature take its course. I don’t need to have so many friends but to have no one to talk to! Or rather I would prefer to have friends, real friends, whom I can always talk to, hang out with and feel awesome!

To end my review, I feel that it is still very important to have a wide connection of friends, and always be nice and treasure friendships, because god knows what will happen the next day and whose help do you need in the near future. Be truthful and it is just extremely important to be yourself when it comes to friendship because you have to be sincere, else you would just present yourself as a total fake and you will probably annoy and disgust the person.

Also, friendships are hard to come by and true friends are rare gems. Show appreciation to them by being the best in yourself and always be nice to the people around you. Smile, because if you do, the whole world will get affected by your happiness as well and that’s what draws the attention. Treat people the way you want to be treated, if you want to feel special and great, you have to make your friends feel special and great!

And I doubt you will need any book to teach you that!

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The Devil Only Knows

One Word

When we were younger, much younger, we have crazy plans to conquer the world, big dreams to own everything under the sky, travel the world, float in the sky with colorful balloons…

When I was in my primary school days, I told myself that I will work hard and top the class. THE DEVIL VISITED. I started to back out… he told me, “BUT there are others in class how are SMARTER than you, you can never be the TOP, aim to be in the top 10.” I didn’t top my primary school, I did fairly well, not extremely disappointing nor idealistic.

When I was in my secondary school days, I told myself that I will ace all my subjects. THE DEVIL VISITED I started to back out… he told me, “BUT you are never good in science, you hated science! Aim a pass!” I did well my languages, humanities and both my mathematics, I flunk my pure chemistry and just manage to pass my physics. Not an ideal result and I didn’t want to pursue my A’s.

When I was in my University days, I told myself that my past results don’t matter anymore, I must look forward and think about my future. After my studies, I will be applying what I have learnt in Business studies with my degree, to help my dad, along with my 2 brothers, to recreate and expand my dad’s business.

THE DEVIL VISITED I started to back out… he told me “I’m too young, my brothers can do the job, I’m too inexperienced, I’m a risk” I completed my BSc(Hons) in Business Management, spoke to my parents a couple of times to discuss about my future route and they suggested that I do what I really like, follow my passion and strive out there in the society. The DEVIL lost. I found myself a perfect job, got embarked onto my passion and my dreams were rediscovered. I have never been this clear in my life as to what I want, I felt great.

Mr. Devil, I’m not too young and never too inexperience to take on a big journey! I am in fact on this BIG journey now, though I’m not helping my dad in the business, but in the long run, I will be the support for the company in terms of knowledge, skills, mindset and finance. I never see myself so much importance in the family, I will not let my parents down because of my negligence to my dad’s company, in fact, I am just bringing and squeezing the very best out of me to prove my excellence and working capability, and there are so much more I can contribute!

Mr. Devil, I hereby declare you out of my life because I can do whatever that I want to do, nothing is impossible and I am busy! I have got dreams to Fulfill!

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I was walking in a shopping mall when I noticed an advert saying “Nowadays being excellent means do things that others think is crazy“. This sentence is really inspiring to me… and I agree about it.

When you can do things that others can, you will not make any differences and it won’t get you anywhere. I remember about the example that was set by James Skinner about an entrepreneur, using an analogy of swimming fishes. A fish that is swimming to different direction, this is THE entrepreneur.

In my experiences, doing so called “different” things (in positive ways) may not be comfortable at first. The reason is because people will start to question me and bombard me with so many arguments of “Why?”, “How?”, and finally the finale question of “Are you sure that it’s going to work?”… and at first I hate these questions. I am a person who prefers to just do the things I want and don’t feel that I own so much explanation to others, and somehow this situation will make me feel “lazy” to do “crazy things” or to do something different or new.  But then I realized that even when I manage to successfully do it, and people see all the great results that I can make, they will still ask me, “Why?”, “How?” and even more than that.

The slogan of “Dare to be different” is very common, but it seems that some people will still prefer to reject changes due to certain reasons that they have, like “It’s been a tradition!” or “Too risky!” or “Everybody also does that! Why must be different? “or even worse “Changes are troublesome!” But whatever reasons they have, I realize this mindset will not help to get the targeted goal. People who are afraid to change will not get any changes in the result as well. People who are afraid to be different will not “shine” or “appeal” as well, because in order to look appealing, a person must be different or look contrast from others around. People who rely on tradition to excel will lose their glory someday because everything is changing rapidly.

At the end, I understand that I have to let go all the “faces” that I have and just be “crazy”… and be different in positive ways in order to be excellence. Of course it doesn’t mean that I neglect all opinions and suggestions from people around me, but just do it and don’t be “paiseh” to be different than others, and I receive the success that I always want.

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Throughout my life experiences, I have met so many people, and they are coming from different types of background. Some of them are working people, and some of them are students. Some of them are old and some of them are young. Some of them are irritating and some of them are kind and nice. But no matter who they are, the main key to deal with them is communication.

I have read several books and tips on communication before, and there are many ways of communicating with people. But there is one common thing that I have found from all those books, which is a very important question of “Are we communicating?”

Few days ago, I walked back home, and on the way I saw a man playing with his dog. The man was doing several strange moves with his hand, and after he finished one move, the dog will do something for him, like running around, sitting down or catching something. From here I was reminded of one important concept that I have read about communication, which is “Communication is always two ways… and there is no such thing as one way communication.” A communication between two parties will have to be understood by the two of them. In another word, understanding is a must part of communication.

Two men, one of them speaks in Chinese and the other speaks in English, but both understand English and Chinese, and each of them get the message that they have been communicating on. Two women, both of them speaks the same language, but after they have been communicating all the way, none of them understand what they have been talking about. Which pair is actually communicating?

A personal experience with my student, which before that day, I felt that this kid is a problematic one. I have been with this kid for few months, and I found that the kid has attitude problem at first. I have really stressed a message to him regarding his attitude, especially on his class’ discipline, but it seemed that he didn’t really care about it. One day, that day, he was coming for a make-up class, and on that day, his friends couldn’t come, so that made him alone in the class, and only with me. I took that chance to talk to him more than usually I do, to build more rapport and to get to know him better. Surprisingly, I didn’t know what happened, but he was very opened to me, and even he was telling me a “secret” about his past, that so far only his parents know. After I heard his story, I was so touched… and that was the first time when I felt that I began to communicate with him. I understand what he’s been through and I understand why he was such an attention seeker. It will be much easier to handle him after I understand him.

So, are we communicating? Or are just talking… in one direction conversation? I want this as a question that, for me, to always remember when I’m conveying messages to others.

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Stress is the gap between our needs and how we fulfil those needs.

I want to acknowledge this point because personally I have been really stressed up not because of tied down by work. I love my job scope and I really gained a lot from the things that I have done and I look forward to my achievements down the road. The only reason why I am unhappy due to stress is because I cannot seek a balance point between my work and my life.

On the midst of creating my successes and climbing up the long way, I have really neglected a various aspect of life.

I find myself slowly communicating lesser with my friends, family and my partner.

I find myself engaging lesser in the things I enjoy like hanging out with my friends for high tea, shopping or simply just chilling out for movies.

I also find myself deteriorating in terms of my health, physically and emotionally.

I haven’t been going for my muaythai and kickboxing training in my old schools because my schedule at work clashes, with that being said I can’t really do much about it because there is no way I can push my class away, I am going granted with 7 days a week and my time table is just very restricted. I kept finding excuse to distract myself that it don’t matter if I don’t go for my regular practices. But the fact is, I really missed it.

Because of these imbalances I face because I simply do not have the time, I sort of snowballed my frustrations altogether, getting cropped up with my own emotions and I just had a mental breakdown, I turned negative and I became negligent to my needs. I got critised by the people around me, why do I want to place myself under such stress, but simply they have no idea how much I really want to get my promotions and achieve greater heights!

There are two types of stress, bad and good stress. I guessed what I am facing now is simply a form of bad stress because I was almost on the verge of breaking down. I grew tired but I forced myself to stay in reality, stay focused on my goals, I wasn’t as happy or as motivated as before.

However, by recognising my own state, I must learn how to turn this form of a bad stress into a good one because having stress is good, but it must be desirable for myself.

“Beyond comfort stress is desirable because it promotes growth and higher productivity!”

This level of stress will help build energy and the capability of the individual. This is the healthy level, the one a person wants to maintain.

I guess this is also where the idea of image maker comes in, the driving force in me is unleashed during Advolution Extreme and I do understand and appreciate the effort and strength given to me to help me see meaning in the things I do that keeps me moving on.  Whatever that I am doing now, I must recognise that its actually for what I want to be better in, relationships, friends, family and support from everyone that I loved. So this level of stress maintains the desirability to have to keep up with my achievements. But I must strike a balance chord and manage my time well, and keep the remaining time and spend it with quality with my loved ones. Engage in simple activities so that I feel comfortable in the things I do so that I won’t feel bad for myself for not being able to comply to many other commitments. The balance should help me in getting my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs back.

If I were to take the initiative and do these things, I will find greater peace and contentment, feel in control. Stress will no longer be a liability but it will be my strength!

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Team are built through communication.

Dawn mentioned to me earlier that the team she felt in Isun is at the surface area because we still tend to keep to ourselves, and work amongst ourselves. I find it incurably true for me because I am one who tends to want to accomplish everything by myself because I am the least collective. If I want to master personal excellence, I must prove to myself that I am able to lead a team in the future and this has got to start with me opening up and getting clear two-way communications. I like how James Skinner put it, “The Language of Team is the language of dream and is fundamentally different from the language of “Me.” ”

To change and be part of an excellent team, I must start to phrase words differently so as to improve in our dialogue and garner the right energy in the team. Whenever there’s praises and celebration, I have to start to use the term “YOU”, for example, “You are Awesome!”, “You did Great!”. People love to work where they are praised and appreciated. Although words might not mean a lot but we have to learn how to celebrate little successes, to build on the team fighting spirit and the desirability to achieve more successes together.

“Catch people doing things right. Give the credit away.”

When there is criticism to be given, the language of team is “I.”

For example, “I should have noticed.”, “I need to take the responsibility for this.”

If I ever want to be at the top and lead a team, I must first learn how to take responsibilities, admit to my mistake and take the blame. This is where we seek excellence in ourselves.

When it’s time to share the benefits, the language of team is “We” and “Us”. For example, “What a tremendous victory we have one.” Or “Let us share this together.” The reason being, teams win together. It is as simple as that!

I think the main essence of this review on teams is about voicing out and getting every single member in the team involved, be engaging and as leaders or leaders wannabes, we must learn how to captivate our team spirit, get voices in the team for feedbacks and opinions, this is crucial because only in this form, will we learn amongst the areas we need to or can be improved. Of course, last but not least, listening plays a great deal. Communication in a team cannot be hierarchical or else it will be unhealthy and team spirit cannot be displayed. Listening plays a great deal as well because if we only voice out concerns, nothing is going to change if we don’t listen and act execute the actions to change. We have to seek clarification in communications when we are listening so that we are all aligned towards our goal in the company according to our interests. All in all, when we are in a team, the key to a successful and a closely bonded team is a two-way communication, calling for personal responsibilities, celebrate little successes, comprehension by listening and appreciation. We must learn how to recognise efforts made by others!

I will start to execute this from now onwards so that I will be ever ready to lead my future math team in Isun!

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7387296.stm

Halo! Just something interesting to share about animal evolution =)

For those who forgot what a platypus is, it is one of the three mammals on Earth that lay eggs. The other two being the spiny anteater and the platy anteater.

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I hate it when I feel this way. Nothing is right. I want to shrink and disappear, because everything about me is wrong. Which of course is absolute nonsense. But here it comes again. I’m ugly. Right, where did that one come from? I’m stupid. Nice. This must have been hiding in my brain for how many years now? I’m weak. Yeah, what else? Wrong question, it started an avalanche – here we go…

I’m fat, my hips are too wide, I have a huge butt, my lips are too thick, my eyes are too small, my forehead is too high, my brain must be the size of an idiot’s fist, I don’t get the simplest riddles, I forget things people have said 5 minutes ago, I struggle with emotions about nothing in particular, just because I am a drama queen, need to exercise more because biking back and forth to work is not enough and I will turn into a blob soon, I… 

Miracle – the spitting session of insecurities slowed down. Wow, I can’t believe it did. I thought there is so much more in my head. That’s right – it is all in my head, and all of it is not real, not even for a minute. But don’t we love holding on to our insecurities? I know I do – getting some sick comfort out of playing a victim and asking others to fill in my holes. How convenient, much better than to strip naked in front of everybody, on the stage, and letting them see all of my faults, and be ok with it. Because there are none. Whatever I see as a fault, others don’t comprehend and can’t see until I point it out. So who creates a problem here? Me. Who is making my life miserable? Me again. Why is it that I hate myself so much? Haven’t learned how to love myself yet, not enough practice. So I try and milk others – for love. I’m scared to death to do it, but I need it, and when I get it, I feel guilty and I want to disappear – the lovely circle starts over again. I dive into my self-hate deeper, picking out the particulars now, like my two front teeth are not perfectly straight and in some pictures they look crooked if the light hits them wrong – I need to finally get myself some braces. My writing sucks and I have to write more and read more to write better and write even more to write even better and never repeat words like I just did and never use words like “like” and “just” and always use commas and… Oh, there is no end in sight. I thought I glimpsed it. 

Why did my self-esteem evaporate today, and how is it I thought I could be stable? No, I actually did feel stable, I remember. It’s a memory now, if at all. I can’t even recollect how I felt. I only recall the fact that I did. One day. It was. Now it’s not. It’s all walled up. I’m all walled up. No matter how many people tell me I’m smart, I’m beautiful, I’m strong – I don’t believe it. I make their job so very hard that they will probably give up on me and walk away, and I will justify it with – well, I knew all along they were lying, because really I am stupid, ugly and weak. Ugh. Sometimes I want my brain cooked, or pickled, to simplify its thinking process to an atom at a time – primitive, straight-forward, calm. Like the one of a duck – to dip my head into water for food, and to get out when full, to swim eagerly for the offering of a piece of bread, but to not be disappointed with an empty hand instead. To ruffle my feathers when cold, to fly for the purpose of transportation only, to hide when chased. How glorious would life be if based on instinct only? But no, I can’t. I have all these intricate strategies developing in my head, spat out as complicated sentences, sophisticated behavior and admirable intuition. Tongue-tied. Too many words. None make me feel better. What will? Touch. Love. Music. I hope. If not, then sleep – if I can make myself get any.

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Imagine walking into life blank, as in blank canvas. No expectations, no regrets. Whenever someone reaches out to you – there is no history in your mind, no thoughts, no hidden feelings – you just receive what you’ve been given. Be it love or violence, you receive it as is. You defend yourself if you have to, or you give yourself fully if you want to. You make no meaning of what you’ve been given, and after it’s over, you return back to the blank canvas, ready to give or receive more. Your memory retains what happened, minus the meaning, the drama, the pangs of guilt, the wish to turn time back and do something differently. Imagine seeing the people around you, knowing that what they do is only their own actions and they don’t mean anything about you. You are a blank canvas, and you only fill yourself with what you want, when you want. You can discard it at any moment and renew yourself.

What would love mean in such world? It would be the paint. The paint applied to your canvas, filling it with reds, blues, yellows, lavenders tones. Creating beauty in your heart. Others who would be giving you love would be the artists of life – your family, your friends, your neighbours. People who smiled at you on the street, people who told you thanks for letting them pass through the crowd, people making you your favourite cup of coffee. Little by little, your canvas would be filled with love. It would be your choice to shake it off and start each day new, blank again. And if someone would slash your canvas, poke a hole in it with a snide remark, tear it with pain and anger, you could simply stitch it back up, to a smooth sheet of fabric, taut on your frame, and you could paint on the scars, so that the next day you look like new. Without regrets, without expectation, imagine you would enter life blank each day. Give yourself to it fully, give yourself to others fully. Never asking for anything in return, never shaming yourself for mistakes you made, never looking back, always moving forward, always knowing, believing, that the happiness is in the now. That there is no past or future. That the past only stays so long on our canvas as we wish, and we can just wipe it off and cover ourselves with new paint.

What would living in such world mean? It would mean being a family – always, with everyone, bonded, together, without any expectations, without wants or haves or musts. Simply being. Giving. Receiving. Living. Being one even when being separate. In complete harmony. Naive. Back to being children. Back to reaching out to everyone and everything, with open heart. With open arms.

I’m attempting to be a blank canvas. I go out and trust people, but as soon as I feel a connection, I close off from fear, or I binge on connecting, at all times – also out of fear. What if I won’t connect like this anymore, what if this will pass? Or, what if I will be slashed into pain again, just like that one time? I’m in the future, or I’m in the past. I’m struggling to be in the now, to enjoy the now. To have no expectations, to have no regrets. I’ve been blank many times, when a little girl, but the slashes to my fabric have been so many, I couldn’t repair them fast enough. I left them torn, crying, not being able to have strength to lift my arms once more, to put the needle through one more tear, to stitch it all up. Even when it was torn to pieces, it kept being torn more, threads were being pulled out, one by one, until I was left bare, wooden frame. I covered myself in rags, to pretend like I’m whole, but never really making an effort to sew it all together. I knew it’d be violated again, so what’s the point? I moved on through life, and my rags covered up with a mixture of love from here and there, they even looked decent, and at one point I forgot it was not my canvas – I fooled myself completely. For the last year, I’ve been ripping the fake rags off, one by one, exposing the bare frame, and now I’m naked. Now I’m growing my blank canvas anew, thread by thread, from love around me, from love to myself. The fabric is not fully restored yet, and the winds of guilt, regret, and self-doubt still blow through me, but the base is strong, and one day I’ll receive my first dose of paint, then another, until a beautiful painting covers my soul. With love, without expectations, without regrets. I hope I’ll be able to walk into life blank then, and renew myself each day, and live in the now.

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I was reading a book entiled,” A leader’s guide to storytelling” today and I came across something which I felt was really meaningful.

It went something like this.

When you interact with a person from a company, you can either be interacting with “the representative of the company who just happens to be Shawn” or Shawn who happens to be a representative of the company”.

The difference is subtle, but very powerful. In Advo, we aim for the latter. Each and every coach and student has a voice to speak up and speak out. And it is this individuality that Advo embraces to bring out the best in each person for the good of the company.

The sum is the whole is greater than its parts.

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The zebra is a prey whereas the lioness is a predator.  It seems like once the predator catches the prey, the prey will have no chance to survive, is that true?  Watch it!

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If you find it difficult to stand up after falling down, watch this!  It might be difficult to stand up after falling down yet if you keep testing out you will be able to find a way to stand up.  On the contrary if you give up on testing out, will you ever stand up?  So are you going to lie on the ground for the rest of your life?

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At a fundraising dinner for an American school that serves learning disabled children,the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

“When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?” The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. “I believe,that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child.”Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked,”Do you think they’ll let me play?” Shay’s father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay’s father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play, not expecting much. The boy looked around for guidance and said, “We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.”

Shay struggled over to the team’s bench put on a team shirt with a broad smile and his Father had a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father’s joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field.

Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing the other team putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over, but the pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the head of the first baseman, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, “Shay, run to first! Run to first!” Never in his life had Shay ever ran that far but made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, “Run to second, run to second!” Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to second base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team, who had a chance to be the hero for his team for the first time. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions and he too intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, “Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay” Shay reached third base, the opposing shortstop ran to help him and turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, “Run to third! Shay, run to third” As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams and those watching were on their feet were screaming, “Shay, run home! Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the “grand slam” and won the game for his team.

That day, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world. Shay didn’t make it to another summer and died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy and coming home and seeing his mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

Source: Rabbi Paysach Krohn, a popular lecturer and best-selling author of the ArtScroll Maggid series of short stories

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Just to share with you all two very simple but very effective tips to retain memory!

Test yourself right after you study

Studies have found that students who studied and were then tested had better long-term recall of the materials compared to students who study for many times but were not tested on the subject that they had studied.

Bed-time Recital

Amazingly, human minds are really powerful and they are working even when you are sleeping. If you do your revision just before going to bed, the mind in the process of sleeping would then arrange the information in a systematic and effective way when you are sleeping. Test the method out today! Remember, you must be in a relaxed mood then write down the things that you are supposed to remember in a piece of paper, read it aloud once or twice and recite it two to three times. After that, go to sleep without worrying or thinking about anything.

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