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Throughout my life experiences, I have met so many people, and they are coming from different types of background. Some of them are working people, and some of them are students. Some of them are old and some of them are young. Some of them are irritating and some of them are kind and nice. But no matter who they are, the main key to deal with them is communication.

I have read several books and tips on communication before, and there are many ways of communicating with people. But there is one common thing that I have found from all those books, which is a very important question of “Are we communicating?”

Few days ago, I walked back home, and on the way I saw a man playing with his dog. The man was doing several strange moves with his hand, and after he finished one move, the dog will do something for him, like running around, sitting down or catching something. From here I was reminded of one important concept that I have read about communication, which is “Communication is always two ways… and there is no such thing as one way communication.” A communication between two parties will have to be understood by the two of them. In another word, understanding is a must part of communication.

Two men, one of them speaks in Chinese and the other speaks in English, but both understand English and Chinese, and each of them get the message that they have been communicating on. Two women, both of them speaks the same language, but after they have been communicating all the way, none of them understand what they have been talking about. Which pair is actually communicating?

A personal experience with my student, which before that day, I felt that this kid is a problematic one. I have been with this kid for few months, and I found that the kid has attitude problem at first. I have really stressed a message to him regarding his attitude, especially on his class’ discipline, but it seemed that he didn’t really care about it. One day, that day, he was coming for a make-up class, and on that day, his friends couldn’t come, so that made him alone in the class, and only with me. I took that chance to talk to him more than usually I do, to build more rapport and to get to know him better. Surprisingly, I didn’t know what happened, but he was very opened to me, and even he was telling me a “secret” about his past, that so far only his parents know. After I heard his story, I was so touched… and that was the first time when I felt that I began to communicate with him. I understand what he’s been through and I understand why he was such an attention seeker. It will be much easier to handle him after I understand him.

So, are we communicating? Or are just talking… in one direction conversation? I want this as a question that, for me, to always remember when I’m conveying messages to others.

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