AdvoBlog

On the first day of success leave trail program, wallets, money, ezlink cards, NETS cards, were taken away from us. All we had were ourselves, and handphones. We were also given a box of tissue, kiwi, sanitary pads. First thing that came to my mind was, if we don’t have money, how are we going to make it to Club street – our first station. Fortunately, we had a very calm and composed group leader, Adeline, who has been through similar programs like this and the thing she said was, “Ok, we can get money from selling all these, or by borrowing”. Since being fast is the key, as mentioned by Pey, we concluded that we needed to be cash-rich and what we did was to borrow from people. Jollie and I went to our neighbour, the public speaking centre and talked to the boss. At first, I was very resistant to that idea because my first thought was “who would lend money to a stranger?” Nevertheless, I still gave my best shot. We took up the courage and stepped into the centre and explained the whole situation to the boss. Although we did our best to persuade her, she didn’t really “pity” us and said that this is how the real world works. She said, “so what if you’re my neighbour? What makes you think that I can trust you?” Of course we did mention that we would offer our Ics to her. However, she said that our Ics were worthless to her. Thus, that was our first rejection. Yet, I believe that the first lesson learnt was to do your best to connect with the people around you because you’ll never know when you’ll need your help. After I left, I was wondering that if I had mentioned that we can collaborate with her centre to get more students for her, I wondered if she would have offered to lend us the money. Luckily, Adeline, Alice, Samantha, Lilian managed to borrow some money. We took a cab to club street, and we were the first to reach there! When we reached there, our task was to ask 3 CEOs/business owners/directors for their namecards and to share their success experience with us. I felt like we are really applying what we have learnt into the real world like to study success from successful people and networking with them. Many times, as an individual, we would not have the courage, or power to approach such people, yet in a group, there’s just this source of energy that drives us towards them. Also, Jollie and I figured out that most bosses are not in their shops, and so we saw a group of guys drinking at the bar. Since they looked like they were bosses , we decided to approach them. We were lucky to find a managing director from the commerce bank. Most of the successful people have common qualities – hardwork and passion. This boss shared with us that no matter where you go, always learn furiously. Learn without being asked to.

Next we moved on to Marina@keppel bay. It is Advo’s dream to own an Advo yatch. I learnt that when there’s a dream, we don’t just stare at our dream board and look at the dream. If not, it would just always remain as a draem. When you want to get closer to your dream, find out the details. In the process of finding out, you may find that your dream is not unattainable and it can bring you excitement and motivation to work towards it as well. After this, we took a MPV cab which costed us $20 to get to Vivocity. This was the station that turned a lot of things around. Our group decided not to collaborate with the rest and for me, I felt uneasy yet when I analysed the situation as if I’m in a real world, I chose the decision of not collaborating because in the real world, you’ll never know who you can trust. Our team was very focused with one goal in mind – to WIN THE GAME. In this station itself, a lot of people passed Ruth. I figured, many people had expected to look for “somebody” with curly hair, wearing a white shirt. However, I later found out that this wasn’t the case. Thus, I’ve learnt that when we are seeking our goals and dreams, we cannot just maintain a single point of view, and with a fixed mindset. We ought to be flexible.

After Vivocity, we went to East Coast Park, Adeline was very lucky to be able to find the 4 boxes of sparklers very quickly. For me, I wanted to be as demure as possible when looking for the sparklers initially. But I thought, “Ah! HECK IT!” and I started to go on all my four limbs and dig furiously. When we were on the cab to ECP, we sat the Limo cab. The cab was damn cool. It had all the different kinds of chargers which we all needed badly because our phones were running out of juice. We wanted to partner this driver called Jayden for the whole night because we thought that the amazing race would last throughout the night till the next day. But the rules changed at this station. We had to take a bus to Changi. When we reached Changi, we saw Seik Yee’s group. All of us were very shocked that they reached before us because we were the first ot leave ECP. When we were at the airport, we reflected that it was because we spent too much time at Mcdonald’s, finding out nearest routes and changing for smaller notes, which was why we were behind them. At the airport, we were supposed to talk to the business/first-class passengers. We were fortunate to pass a counter, purely serving business/first-class passengers. We then asked for their experience on business/first-class on SIA. We also asked them for the price. Imagine Advo going to Asia, then to Europe and USA! By then, we would have a lot of chances to travel around in business class too! What we did not do well was, we did not apply the learning experience in the morning. We did not ask for the namecards to stay in contact with the business people. We spent the night under the escalator area, sleeping on the marble cold floor. That area looked as if we were under an overhead bridge. In the middle of the night, all of us were so cold that we had to move to another area which we found to be the nursing room. At 5am, we were scolded and subsequently thrown out by the cleaner. Come to think of it, it was quite a crazy experience to have had slept in the nursing room and “under the bridge”.

The morning after, some of us were blindfolded while some of us were “muted”. In the group, there was only 1 person that had no “disability”. It’s quite interesting to see changes of leadership in the group and the “mute” teaching the “blind” sign languages. What I’ve learnt here is that communication is VERY important. Alice and Jollie were the ones blindfolded. They were truly amusing! Alice kept shouting “EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME!” on the quiet morning train. Jollie too was funny! An ang moh was standing behind her and she wanted to give her namecard to the angmoh.

We ^5 the working people to bring a smile back into the working life. This was quite meaningful. Next up, Mt Faber. This was jialat. We chiong’ed all the way because we wanted to close up the gap with the first group. We took the shorter path to the top. This was the station whereby we pushed each other really hard. Jollie was almost dying, gasping for air and all of us helped her in different ways. I pushed her, while the rest pulled her. We went “ONE, TWO, ONE TWO!” Later, we saw the first group and that made us chiong even more because we know our gap is less than 5 minutes now. We chiong’ed to the Fountain of Wealth at suntec after that and gave our namecards to 20 people. We also took a video for each of us, saying our wish for AdvoEdu, for Singapore, for family, for friends and last but not least, myself. At this station, we also had to sell away all the stuff we had on hand. But our strategy was not to make money, and just to sell away as fast as possible so that we can win the game. Next station was Ritz Calrton. We were very pleased to hear that we have overtaken the first group. WE ARE THE FIRST!!!! Shiling told us that there were a few more stations, but now its just to gather everyone for a session first. We sat down and strategised what else could happen ahead. To our surprise, we were brought to level 30 – THE PRESIDENTIAL SUITE for our debrief session. GOSH! The view was splendid, and the room was really big with fluffy beds and lots of mirrors around. There were also two bathtubs and 4 toilets and a very comfortable sofa in the living room. It’s quite cool to have a debrief session in this ambience. It was even cooler to hear that we being the first, get to stay at this presidential suite for one night! I never imagined that I would have a chance to stay in such an atas hotel and in such an atas room. I never expected this dream to come true so fast. That night, I told Jollie that I didn’t dare to close my eyes while on the bed because it really felt like I’m in my dream. I was afraid that once I opened my eyes, everything would be gone. But I learnt from Jollie to think of other ways that would allow myself to enjoy this experience again and don’t think of it as if it would never happen again.

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I was reading about Ritz Carlton Hotel and amazed by this hotel.
The way they served their customers and the way they work leave the deepest impression on me. Especially the way they deal with the dissatisfy customers – instead of asking the customers to fill in a feedback form, the employees will do it first, and then they will do everything they can to change the customer into their fan in the future. One thing that they do to make sure that all employees would do the same thing is through the hiring system. And the criteria that they looked into, is a person who “WILL” do the job rather than a person who “CAN” do the job. This really strikes me as most of the companies are looking for people who CAN do, instead of people who WILL do. I think this is the most important reason why there are a lot of people like to do job hopping. Because it’s not that they cannot do the job, but rather they are not willing to do anymore.
To think about it, I think this same thing actually applies to students. A lot of students are not scoring well not because that they cannot do, but rather that they are not willing to do. The reason behind can be as simple as they do not like the teacher. Of course a school can’t be choosing the students based on this, YET, why not they work a way to transform the students from “not willing” to “willing”.
And, this is exactly what we are doing in Advo Edu – to provide an education for everyone to live their dreams by putting a smile back into learning!
SOOOO COOL!
Every time when I see my students, who hate the subject before they join us, start putting in effort, and see the results, I feel EXTREMELY HAPPY for them. They might still do mistakes here and there, however, they are learning. And they have the transformation of results and themselves not just because they can, but because they are willing to do so. And I always believe: when there is a will, there is a way. They will definitely make their own ways to live their dreams one day!

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I read the book “You are the apple of my eye” (《那些年，我们一起追的女孩》). It is a story about a teenager, who is 16 and always the student which caused the most headache in his class, fell in love with the girl who always topped the class. This teenage court the girl for 8 years long. In that long years, he had done all sort of things such as changing himself to be one of the top students in class, sabotage his friends who also likes the girl to lesser his competition and stay back to study in school because the girl is studying there.
Yes, this is a love story. But, why am I sharing this love story?
When I was reading the book, what touched me the most was actually the way the boy pursue his dreams. In order to pursue the girl, he from someone who is always the last in academic, always caused troubles to teachers and school, and never passed any of the subject except Languages, became a Top 30 students in school, starts working hard for his academic, go to Science stream, topped the Math in his class and even passed the interview and was recommended to University. Sometime he might seem to be very childish to sabotage his friends so that the girl will not consider them as her boyfriend. However, the way he pushed himself, and being so ready to change himself to achieved his dreams really touched me.
To compare this to people around or even myself, sometimes we are so hesitate to change even we know that we must change ourselves in order to achieved something different. I feel that what we lack might be a little of 冲劲. As we grow older, we tend to think a lot before we act because we want to be safe. We always have to weigh the good and bad, benefit and risk before we start our plan. However, it’s because that we had spent so much time in consideration, it is often that we had already lose the momentum by the time we finally decide to work on the plan.
It’s not saying that planning is not good. Just that to be too detailed will not help either. There is a saying 计划赶不上变化, sometimes we have to be more flexible. Perhaps when we have a plan in mind, we can be more impetuous as well, so that we can have the momentum and at the same time, and pursue the dreams with full of passion.

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There is a Chinese saying: 压力是动力, which means stress can be the motivation.
In fact it is true. In the book “The power of stress – how to use good stress for success”, stress was divided to 4 types, which are breakdown, beyond comfort, comfort and zero stress. It is believed that beyond comfort stress is a positive stress. This stress occurred when we move from comfort zone to unknown territory. Getting out of comfort zone provide positive stress for growth and fulfilment.
It also says that human face the stress from physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs. Stress is the gap between our needs and how we fulfil those needs. Physical stress basically occurred when we did not take care of the physical needs. What interested me was actually the stress we have from mental, emotion and spiritual.
According to the author, mental stress has 2 dimensions, one from the gap we have in pursuit of knowledge while the other is the gap between the goals we set and what we achieved. Emotional stressed is from relationships with others, can be from lack of quality interpersonal relationships or from expectations of others and how they actually behave. Spiritual stress occurs when we do not have a sense of meaning and burning purpose within us. It can be caused when we do not act in alignment with the core values we hold.
To me, I feel that it’s important to have stress in our lives. I feel that a person with no stress and always stay in the comfort zone is really a person that seek no growth and has no goal in their life. This kind of person has no objective in their life, and often lives a 得过且过 life. I feel that this is the scariest thing that can happen to me, not knowing what I want in my life and not even knowing the purpose doing something. Therefore, I feel that when a person at least have some stress in his or her life, at least he or she still have some objective, and also will seek for a change of situation.
Of course managing the stress is very important too, especially the people nowadays often have to deal with so many stress from different areas in life. We have seen a lot of tragedy happened when people do not know how to overcome the stress they faced. To them, maybe they had reached a breakdown stage and decided to run away or escape from all the stress that they cannot cope. However, just like what the book shares, Ralph Waldo has said before “nothing can bring you peace but yourself”. It is us who should take the responsibility of managing our stress, not any other.
To them who are very stressed due to exams, works, and any other matters in life, perhaps can do the activities stated below to reduce your negative stress and increase positive stress:
Physical stress
1. Do exercise to increase heart rate to a healthy level of aerobic exercise
2. Eat nutritious meals
3. Stretching, take a short nap, take a walk
4. Get enough sleep
Mental stress
5. Take time to contemplate what is truly important
6. Learn something new everyday
7. Create goals that stimulate
8. Reward and celebrate each success in finishing a milestone
Emotional stress
9. Building positive relationships
10. Think positively
11. Share positive things about people
12. Take responsibility and stay away from blame game
Spiritual stress
13. Meditate and pray
14. Write down values and vision
15. Do anonymous service
16. Do the right thing

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After I have watched all the Tony Robbins videos, I learn a lot of new lessons on how to have correct mindset of many things, how to tap into our maximum potential, about affirmation, how to raise our energy and how to change our state from negative states into positive states. Those are practical things that I can apply in my daily life to live my life happier in the right direction.

But there is one thing that I learn the most from all the videos and all the books from James Skinner that I have read. I can simply say it in just a single sentence which is “Be more than myself!” I believe that by being more than myself, I can achieve even more than whatever I want to achieve in my life. It’s to maximize my life and live my life into the fullest.

There are certain things that I need to improve from my self in order to be more than myself. I realize that so far, most of the time, I may not be more than myself… in fact sometimes I am not even myself. There are times when I want something very badly, but I was too scared to go after it because I was so afraid of its risk and consequences, or rather I say I was afraid of the price that I must pay to get it.

Life is a learning journey. I always believe that my ENTIRE life is a learning journey. Learning will never stop and only stop when I die. When I become older and older, it doesn’t mean that I am perfected already. There are still so many things that I need to learn. Older only means one thing: more experiences! But learning will not stop! Learning is forever! Not only learn about general knowledge but also learn about ourselves… it is also forever!

I always believe that human are never too old to learn. As long as we still have life… learn and improve… be more than ourselves! That’s 101% effort to get our dreams.

Tony Robbins videos were so inspiring, make me realize also that there are so much potential within me, which make me amazed as well. I have never thought about it also, and this shows to me that there are things that I still need to acknowledge about myself. Before I can be more than myself, I must also understand and have full access to my potential, from there I can improve and keep improving… until I become more than myself.

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This is a remarkable lesson for me personally, as I can apply this in most of my life. This is something that I have just realized when I watch this video.

I am a person who is easily getting stressed-up especially when things go wrong. Considering that I am a perfectionist and there is nothing perfect in this world, I often feel that everything is not well enough for me. After quiet sometimes, the I realize that the thing that is bugging me is actually only a small thing in my life that I should worry about. I focus on small negative things in my life, cause me to lose my happiness at that moment, and I am wasting a certain period of time by doing this.

Focus = Feeling. That is the main important lesson from the video today. If I change or switch my focus to other positive things, then eventually what I feel will change also. So instead of thinking some negative stuffs in my life, what I need to do is just to focus on positive things in my life such as the happiness behind all my hardworking or hopes that I have in the future. I realize that by doing it, what I feel can be changed immediately.

I always believe that human mind is the center of life. Human mind is definitely very powerful and not all the power has been fully utilized. Whatever inside our mind will be able to affect our life. It is powerful enough to change our life as well. When we switch our mind to think of positive things, then our feeling will be more positive and eventually our life will be more positive as well… also the other way around.

So keep your mind focusing on positive things, I believe that more positive things will happen in our life. Keep being positive!

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The video has taught me a lot about desire and body language. Desire is something that we really want to have or to get. Our desire comes out from our dreams. Dreams is a powerful drive in our life.

I notice that 95% of what I am doing right now is driven by my dream, a dream of becoming a teacher that has been there since I was in Primary School. The desire of it has never gone, it has been tested through time, showing that it is my true desire. One of my friend told me before that he doesn’t believe in passion. Passion is something that is coming out after you know that you can do certain things very well. I gave it a deep thought and I think more or less it is true.

My dream is to be a teacher, and that is my desire since I’m a kid. I love to imagine that someday I will be standing in front of the class, delivering values to all my students and change their life and help them to get their dreams. After I started to do the teaching activities, I know I can do it and my love on it has started to grow even more and more. That will become my passion.

I understand the power of dream. I also have a lot of dreams. Sometimes, to think that I may not be able to get what I want will “piss” me off or annoy me to the certain level. If it is able to “piss” me off, I believe it has great strength and why don’t we use this great strength to produce tremendous result and achievement in our life. Dreams will generate high energy for us to pursue it.

As for body language, I learn that whatever our body language show, it will tell others how is our emotional state. If we are not happy, people can tell about it. If we are happy, people also can tell about it.

I personally agree that this will affect others as well. Sometimes if we are not in “good” condition and we are spreading “negative” energy, others may get the effect as well. For me, if somebody around me is not in happy mood, I will feel uncomfortable. So one take back is that, we must always be cautious that whenever we are not happy or not in well condition, people can tell about it, no matter how good we attempt to fake it.

Don’t worry and be happy!

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It is great to be a kid! Kid is always being active when they are learning. It starts when they are learning to walk. They were actively doing it.

As an adult, things are starting to change, that’s what I fell. The more I grow, the more I learn things. The more I learn things, the more I know about consequences or risks. The more I know about consequences or risks, the more I’m afraid to do things or learn new things. Finally the more I’m afraid to learn new things, the more I don’t know about anythings.

A kid, when he or she learns to walk, many times they fall. When they fall, they get up again and do it again, until they really master that skill to walk. But for an adult is different. They learn, they fail… and they give up. This is a mentality that will stop people from continuous learning.

One of the best quote that I like is, “There is no such thing as failure, there is only lesson learnt.” I can even say that failure is the BEST way to learn. Because through failure, we know what we should NOT do… and from there we know better what we MUST DO. Someone ONLY really have failed when he or she gives up.

Another behavior that normally nowadays people will do is “learning by demand”. It means that learning will only take place if we are being told or demanded to do so. This behavior is also can bee seen in nowadays school kids. Most of them love to say, “The teacher has never asked us to learn this!” or “The teacher has never taught this!” This mindset has been cultivated since kids so that it is very difficult to erase. What about learning even the teacher has never asked? What about curiosity and eagerness to learn more to be better than others? I believe that it is something that is getting lesser and lesser in this time. It is very saddening to know that.

I sincerely would love to see more and more children do proactive learning. What is a proactive learning? It is when people actively learn or engaged in a learning process even when nobody asks for it. In another word, when you learn just gather your courage and do it! Failure is a learning. Understand that in failure there are certain risk or effect that must be bear, but do not make it as something that will make you give up even before you do it.

Just do it… that’s one of the best strategy if you want to learn something new!

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We had always know that team work is very important in our life, because there is no way that we can survive just by ourselves.
However, how many of us know the way to make a team work? Just like the book “The Language of Team” says, we had never learn this skill from school or anywhere before. So we can always find that there are people who did well in their studies, but didn’t achived as well as others because they just can’t work in team.
Here are the secrets to make a team that work every time.
1. Praise “you” – I think most of the time we are all too stingy to praise others. We all hen they love to hear praises from others because we felt appreciated. If a leader is more generous in praising, the synergy of the team is actually very different. This is because we felt appreciated and will be more willing to continue the contribution to the people who appreaciate us. So the team leader must not be stingy to praise their members. Simple thing like “you did a great job” will actually make the difference.
2. criticism “I” – Just like how all of us like praises, most of us doesn’t like to be criticized. Most of the people want to avoid the responsibility when it comes to soemthing negative. We all doesn’t want to be the one who is responsible for the mistake. According to the book, one has to be willing to shoulder the criticism himself or herself in order to be at the top.
3. Benefits “we” – When it’s about benefits, it have to be “we”. This is because if we win, we win it as a team. Honestly, I think none of us want to work very hard but get nothing in the end. So this is just the same thing that the team member will feel or think.
4. Opinions “It appears” – The author says, “Benjamin Franklin said in his later life that he refrained from any definitive statement of opinion that might make him dominating or superior to others”. None of us like to be rejected. When we are giving opinions in a tone like “it appears to me that…”, the other parties will be able to accept the opinions better as the rejection feel is not as strong.
5. Feedback “My concern is” – For a team to grow, we will need feedback. And if we are giving feedback, we have to own it as it’s from our perspective of view.
6. Listening “Help me to understand…” – We always say that there’s a reason why human are created with 2 ears and just 1 mouth, it’s because we are to be made to listen more than speak. This also apply to make a team work. If we keep on voicing our opinions and refuse to hear from others, or we are not even clear about what the team members think or feel, the possibility of this team to move fast and far is so much lower. I feel that all of us want to have a strong team, and it’s easy to have a team like this – listen to what the team member want to say, and clarify it if we do not fully understand. We shall not take it for granted that we had already know what they want to say, in fact, this is the reason which lead to miscommunication most of the time. So to prevent us to say “I thought you said…”, we shall make everything clear before hand. And the key thing is to listen.
7. All the time “Thank you” – gratitude is something very important. There is a quote says ” gratitude is absolutely something to bring more to your life”. I truly believe in this.

What ever we do, we need a great team. And to make a team work all the time, it’s just a very simple 7 ways.

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Providing the best customer service is a compulsory thing for all types of business. I believe that giving customer service is not only a matter of giving what the customer want. Reading the book of “Welcome To The Ritz Carlton” by James Skinner, Royce Kruger and Mark Victor Hansen has given a lot of new insight of what is “the best customer service“.

Before I read this book, my impressions of what is the best customer service is that: To serve means to make customer happy by fulfilling what they want or what they need. Although after I give it a deep thought I found it that it is not wrong, I get another wonderful lesson of what is the best customer service according to this book.

“The best customer service means to give the customer even the things that they dare not to ask” is really something that touches me. In another word, if we want our service to be called as “the best customer service” then we must do more that what we supposed to do. Actually the concept is as simple as that, but to really be able to internalize that concept, one must have always three questions in his/her head by all the time.

The first question is “Who are we?“, which to identify who are we and how are we positioning ourselves before our customers. The next questions is “Who are they?“, which to identify our customer. The last question is “Why do we have relationship?“, which to identify what we suppose to do or how we suppose to serve the customers. Who am I? I am a TOP Math Coach. Who are they? My customers are parents and students. Why do we have relationship? Adding values. I want to add values to all of them. I am a TOP Math Coach who is adding values to all my students through my subject of Math. By adding values to all my students, all the parents will be fully benefited as well.

That’s is why I always have my Image Maker, to constantly remind me of what should I do to be able to give the best customer service to all my students and parents. If I fully realize that I am a TOP, not only ordinary but a TOP, Math Coach, I will have a mindset that I will provide the TOP service for all the people around me as well. As what we can learn from Ritz-Carlton Hotel, they all have their credo.

Serve more that we suppose to serve and give more than we suppose to give, we will be more than just the ordinary… we will be more than TOP.

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After reading so many of Life Skills Book, I begin to think why everything seems very easy. The things that I thought were impossible, become possible in such a simple way only. I was very amazed with that. This time, I read the book “Extra Mile” by James Skinner, Royce Krueger and Mark Victor Hansen. This book is talking about being a winner.

It is just as simple as the definition of the word winner. This word comes from the another word “win” as the root. What is the meaning of “win”? Win is to “overcome difficulties and attain a desired goal or end” or “to achieve victory through a higher level of difficulties“. A winner is a person who wins. In order to achieve this status, a person has to achieve the goal in “higher difficulties”. In another word, that person must do more that what others have done. That’s the meaning of “Extra Mile“.

To me, after I read this book. I think I know how to simplify everything into just a single word “extraordinary”. Just by being extraordinary, I can be a winner. There is also only one simple thing that I need to do to be extraordinary which is doing more than I suppose to do. Walk the extra mile, and I believe that I can be a winner because I have achieve something with more effort and higher difficulties.

Being extraordinary means also being different. I learn that I need to step-up to be different and to be more than I use to be. I am happy and proud of my work. The reason is that I am always need to learn more than I suppose to, means that I am required to always up my standard higher and higher. I will always be stretched-up to be more and more than myself. With this, I will always have all the reason to demand my students to also keep raising their standards. Be more than just a winner and be more than yourself. I strongly believe that it is the key of demanding ourselves and others.

Of course in order to be extraordinary or “more than just ordinary” there are prices that needs to be paid. One of the essential price is that we have to work harder to do things with higher level of difficulties. But the pain that we will feel is so little compared to the result that we will achieve. So once again, we have nothing to lose. Walk the extra mile and be extraordinary.

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Change… is a word that a lot of people are afraid of. This word has an impression of instability. People hate and feel insecure about it. People love when situation is stable and predictable, because this situation will provide security in all aspects. In another word, people love to stay in their comfort zone.

But change is necessary, especially change to be better, change from something that previously we can’t do it to become something that we can do it. These changes are necessary if we want to achieve result more than what we have achieved before.

Facing change is easy. The book “4 Steps To Change” by James Skinner, Mark Victor Hansen and Royce Krueger has reveal easy and simple steps to change.

1. Identify Limiting Thought. The book clearly mentions that if our thought is only operating at current level, then our achievements or results will also be at current level. To make a breakthrough in the result, we first must find whatever thoughts that keep us away from what we want. As for example, students who have never got full mark will think that he/she will never get it. This is a limiting thought and must be thrown away. He/she must start to think that I can do it. I can get full mark. I can get A.
2. Find Big Enough Reason to Change. The reason behind the change must be strong enough to pull us out from the current situation. A reason like better school to enter in the future or have to go to University in order to get proper job to support family may be strong enough for a student to do their best to achieve breakthrough in result.
3. Create new alternatives. If we start to entertain new possibilities or better choices, and we believe that we can get it, somehow it will lead us there. A student who has never passed any exams before, when he started to think about a new possibilities that he can get A, somehow will change his result as long as he believe it. So start entertain new possibilities of better condition than the current one.
4. Reward and Repetition. After we manage to get the change that we want, celebrate it to show appreciation to ourselves. This will motivate us to do more positive changes in our life, and to do so is just to repeat the steps again for a brand new change. One change at a time will make our life be perfected someday.

So… with these 4 steps, I truly believe that there is nothing to be afraid of regarding change. Change is uncomfortable yet it is necessary. So don’t make it into something like pressurizing obligation, but enjoy it and just simply it embrace it.

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Have you ever heard of “Happiness in Giving” or “Give more get more“? Well, one thing that I can share about it is that those statements are true. I have read the book “State of Abundance” by James Skinner, Royce Krueger and Mark Victor Hansen, and when I relate that with my life experiences, I know for sure that it is not just another theory of how to be abundant.

People nowadays prefer to take rather than give, or even worse, they prefer to take not only things that they can take but also take advantages of others. This is what normally people call as “Parasite“. I understand the logic behind why do people love to do it. People usually think that by taking advantages, it will bring them closer to the state of abundance. Taking advantages in the sense that they can just take something from others without investing or giving something in return. This is why there are a lot of “manipulator” nowadays.

But from this book, all of us can learn something very different from common logic of how to get closer to the state of abundance which normally used by most people. A new logic called “Give More Get More“. The book does clearly mention that whatever we have given, it will be back to us even not in the same direction where we give it. It may come back years later, but it definitely will come back.

When I give more time for my students to guide them, they will learn more. Even that I have to spend much time to guide them, but when they are successful in their study, everything will come back to me in different form. I get into my state of abundance in term of happiness, confidence and even my career as Math Coach. The smile of my students are my pride, the joy that they feel when they have been successful is my happiness, and with that even more students will come to me which means that my career will go up as well. I receive even more than I have invested.

Actually the logic behind is exactly the same as: “Put more effort, then you will receive better result”. That is why all the things that we have invested will definitely be fruitful as long as we have invested it in the right way. Some people think about “Too many risk… too many sacrifices…” as for me I don’t really agree of using the word “sacrifice” because the impression of this word means that after we give it, we will lose it. I personally prefer to use the word “invest“, because when we are investing, there will be return and profit gained.

There is nothing to lose in giving. Giving is a sign that we are rich and capable, while taking is a sign that we are poor and have nothing to give. A person doesn’t have to have a lot of wealth or money in order to be able to give or share to others. What they need to have is just simply a giving and sharing heart… a strong will to give and a strong believe that there is nothing to lose in giving.

The more we give to others, the more we have invested kindness to others… the more we will get it back, although that it is also very important to note that we don’t just give for the sake of getting something in return. We have to do it sincerely. Insincere gift will only result in problem. People can sense our sincerity. This sincerity is an important element of giving because this is the trigger which will make our gift becomes fruitful.

Let’s give and share more… we have nothing to lose!

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Reviewing the Book “Team” by James Skinner, Royce Krueger and Mark Victor Hansen, I have been inspired with few things, especially by the definition of Team that is given by the book itself “Working together to get it done!”

I really feel that Team is “Working Together to get it done!”, because THAT is the real purpose of forming a team. There is no use of forming a team but the work is still being done by “one man show“. When I was still working as an Engineer few years back, once I have a supervisor who always talking about team, but sadly the word “team” for him means “You do it… and give the result to me, while I’m just sitting back and scold you when you can’t do it!“… and worse than that, the rest of my “team-mates” had also unique definition of “team” which was “You do all the dirty jobs… and let me be the one who reports to the boss and get the reward!“. At that time, this what was in my mind as a respond to those “funny” definition: “And you call yourself a smart engineer… you can’t understand what’s team all about!“. I’m very confident to say that if a team has this kind of mindset, it is just a matter of time before the team will be down.

To me, a team is where a group of people working together to achieve the common goals. Working together means everybody will have to do their parts and not finding excuses to be able to throw their parts to others. In order to achieve this, there must be certain basic values which must be there, such as: Trust, Honesty, Responsibility and Understanding. To make sure that TRUST is there, HONESTY must be there as well. Above all, every single member of the team must be RESPONSIBLE for their parts that they need to play in the team, based on mutual UNDERSTANDING between the team members. Of course, to maintain this there must be some basic rules need to be implemented to make sure that everybody will be doing their responsibilities.

I have no objection for having some competition in team, but it must be healthy competition. Healthy means the members of the team are not “killing” each other just to show that they are the best in the team. There must be limitation for this competition whereby every single member of the team must RESPECT each other and not crossing the line of the rules.

Another thing about team is ACCEPTING DIFFERENCE. Every single member of the team will be different because everybody is unique. There are several ways to accept differences:

1. Focus more on strength and not weakness
2. Treat differences as diversity which will enrich the power of the team
3. Respect and honor each other belief
4. Give support in term of moral and motivation to each other. When other member in team is down, DO NOT use it as an opportunity to be a “shinning star” in the team, as there is no such thing like “one single shinning star” in team! A team is as strong as the weakest link… so support each other.

I have a very famous phrase for team: “One for all and all for one!” Learning on how to work in team is just as simple as RESTRAINING OUR EGO and be part of each other.

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First of all, I would like to say that the definition of stress in the book “The Power of Stress” by James Skinner, Royce Krueger and Mark Victor Hansen saying that “Stress is the gap between our needs and how we fulfill those needs” is totally agreeable. After I gave it a deep thought, I realize that when I feel stressed, it means I need something to be achieved or fulfilled, but I haven’t reached there yet.

To really understand the chronicle of stress is very interesting. After I read that book I realize that there are 2 types of stress which are in short I can say as The Good Stress and The Bad Stress.

Long ago I always feel that stress is actually totally unnecessary. Why do I have to live my life with stress? That was the question that came out in my mind when I thought about stress. I was so tempted to live my life totally out of stress, meaning I really want to not doing things that will have chance to make me stressful. Totally enjoy my life to the fullest by avoiding things that may cause stress. But I was very grateful that I did not do that.

My life experiences has taught me that sometimes stress in necessary, to really make our life becomes not so boring. That’s why I agree with what the book says about “Beyond Comfort” type of stress. This stress will be necessary to improve ourselves. By staying in comfort zone or in other words, by avoiding things that may make our life stressful, it won’t get us into anywhere. We will feel very peaceful life, but our life will always be the same and to me, it is a sign of a boring life.

Stress is colors to our life, it will make our life better to the certain extend, but if we don’t be careful with stress, it may crush our life as well. Stress normally comes from things that we haven’t achieved yet, just as what the definition given by the book. When I want something, and that thing seems still so far away ahead, I can start to feel stress. Being pushed by obligation to achieve certain things, so that we will have to go through difficult situations, will also make our life stressful. But as what the book says that the only thing that can make ourselves at peace is… ourselves or I may say our own mind.

One way to so called balance from stressing situation is of course to do some refreshing activities or to just immediately stop whatever makes us stressful. But there is a much better way, is by managing our mind, change our focus from all the difficult situations to all the achievements that we can get after we defeat all the difficult situations. Focus more on the rewards not on the troubles. This is one way, from my experience, that can help to reduce or balance from stress.

Stress can be very dangerous if we let it becomes depressions, but if we can manage our stress well, we will be able to turn stress into a powerful tool to improve ourselves and achieve what we want to. Manage your stress! Control it and it will work for you.

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Have you ever heard of the term slow learner and fast learner? What makes somebody a fast learner or slow learner?

After reading the book of “Instant Learning” by James Skinner and Royce Krueger, I am reminded of one thing about something regarding the question above. There are many ways of learning things, but within all the ways there will always be a structural way of learning. With a correct systematical learning I personally believe that everybody can be a fast learner. That’s my personal take-back from reading the book.

After reading this book these are the thoughts that I got:

1. I understand that there are various types of people based on their learning types (Visual, Auditory and Kinnesthetic). Give them the proper methodology to learn based on the three types, then they will be instant learner. For example, drawing, chart, diagrams for Visual Learner, Language and Tone for Auditory Learner and Hands-On activity for Kinnesthetic Learner.
2. Everything must be broken down to become as simple as possible, in order to be “dummy proof” or easier to be understood. Smaller part will be much easier to be digested even by persons who are really lack of basic ability to understand logic.
3. Be systematic when presenting definition and categorization of knowledge that is being learnt. From my coaching experiences, I understand that some people really have problem with their logical thinking, even for basic logic. As a coach in subject which requires logic, I find it very challenging to teach logic to my students, as logic is the basic essence of Math. So far, the only best way to teach logic to “illogical students” is by showing them the logic and ensure that they are able to visualize the logic. This is where systematic presentation of definition and categorization takes very important part.
4. Use attractive stuff such as color and movement to attract more attention from the students. I am an Auditory Learner, so normally color and movement will not attract me so much, but I learn to use that to attract students which is more Visual and Kinnesthetic.

Finally, learning is about acknowledging new knowledge and relate it with things that we have known before. I understand that until certain extent intelligent is playing part, but I also believe more that method will play more significant role to make all people become instant learner.

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When we are facing a failure in our expectation, have we ever wonder – did we push ourselves beyond our expectation?
I think most of us will say no. Most of the times, we set a goal or expectation with in our ability. We are afraid of disappointment. We want to avoid failure. So we play safe. That’s why we are getting what we want because all the rewards go to those who are willing to step up to walk the extra miles. This explains why we are still at the same place, while others might already achieve their goals. This also explains why even if everybody is doing the same thing, but only a few of them will be success. Because those who success take the extra steps. It is the same when applying this theory in studies. We are so familiar with foreign students being the top scorer when results are released. Quite a number of my friends are foreigner in university and a lot of them are in the dean’s list, even topped their faculty during graduation. The reason why they are always getting good result, other than they spend a lot of time doing revision, is also because they also do preparation for all the lessons they are attending, they take notes during the lessons, even watch the webcam and make appointments with lecturer and tutor when they have questions. They are so focus on their studies when others are busy with all the others stuff. They deserved the results they get because they go extra miles and they are so focused.
When we are setting a goal, we should raise our standards. This is because our thoughts create the reality. And 100% of the results come from what we think.
I always tell my students, if you had already set the mind-set that you do not know how to answer the question or you cannot read and understand anything even before you enter the exam hall, you will end up doing less questions than what you can, and you will definitely get the result you think you will get. Because “if you think you can, you can. If you think you cannot, you are right too.” Hence if we were to raise our standards, and set the correct mind-set, we are already at the correct track.
We also need to have goals from all dimensions in our life. Because life isn’t just about career. We also need support from friends and family, from all those we loved, and also to love the people around. This is because when we are selfless, we will bring values and happiness to others. We also can learn from the people around. People often said one’s future will not be much difference from the people that he mixed around the most. This is because we influence and also get influenced by them.
In order to reach the goals, we also have to maintain a good health. I once heard from a health seminar – 60% of our health is determined by what we eat, 20% from exercise and the other 20% from emotion. So to have a good health, other than exercise, it’s important to have a healthy diet. And I feel that this is the most important thing to success – because there’s nothing that we can do if we are not healthy. So let’s “jia you” together, be healthy and head towards our goals =)

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The phrase “excuse me” may seem very kind and polite… in fact it is a polite word if we use it to show some manner to others. But it won’t be a good word if it is being used just to make excuse. There are millions of excuse that can be made to reason with things.

The power of excuses is deadly enough to make our dreams fade away. After I read the book from James Skinner and Royce Krueger of “The Devil Only Knows One Word“, and gave it a deep thought, I think excuses are the main factor why did it take six years to move from Engineering to Education. A lot of excuses like “But I don’t have any educational background in Education, don’t think that they may accept me…” and “But what will happen to my career and income if I move to Education?” were controlling my decision to not running towards my dreams. They sound like very reasonable excuses, but I learn something that everything is possible as long as we believe it, and to make it possible it depends on our choice actually.

If we choose to believe the logic behind those excuses, then there will never be a change in our life, but if we choose to take a risky step to run towards what we want, there will definitely be a change somehow.

The book says that the dangerous word is “But…” and this is the word that is going to hold us from our dreams. The word “BUT…” is actually a word to express something in contrast to the previous statement. Example: I want to be a teacher, BUT I don’t have educational background as a teacher. This is something that doubts the certainty of the first statement. When we say this “evil” word, our mind will be set to doubt the first statement also.

It is very important to assess the risk before making decision, but let’s not make that risk assessment to be some kind of excuses not to make that decision. Some excuses may look very logical, but we still must see whether those excuses are acceptable or not. To me, those excuses will not be acceptable anymore if they hold me from what I want to achieve, and they will be acceptable if they are to protect me or others from bad things or as precautions. Understand that some excuses may be acceptable as proper reason, for example: “I am not feeling well today so that I cannot come to work.” Even for this excuse, there is another solution which is to work from home. Whenever there is a will, there will be a way!

Realize the power of excuses and let’s not use it to bring us away from our precious dreams!

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I wasn’t very much enlightened by Roice Krueger, Mark Victor Hansen and James Skinner for this chapter but I do felt that they have reinforced 5 strong values that we hold on strongly without realizing we have them, and without realizing that these values are what makes us today.

(Work)

Very often we bear grudges when we were kids, why do we always have to abide to every rule, always have to ask and beg for something that we want.

I am thankful to my parents for not letting me get my way and instead, they taught me the art of deserving. I am fortunate that I don’t have to work when I was a growing up kid and attended primary and secondary school like everyone else.

My mom was strict, she made sure that I will get my candies or my play time if I have completed my assignments and school work. To be entitled to go out with my friends, I will have to make sure I do whatever I’m assigned, like cleaning up my own room etc.

(Responsibility)

If you would agree with me, there are many times that when kids create trouble, the first words that would come out from their mouth would be, “NOT ME!!.”

They would always push the blame around and avoid bearing the consequences for their own mistakes. I feel that this is incurably a bad form of teaching if we were to allow them to “win” the situation. Because when they grow up, they might start to create more trouble from themselves and they continue to shun away from it, they would never learn from their mistakes!

Hence we should really teach our children to bear responsibilities. Even if it’s not entirely their fault, they should learn to take the blame, because the importance of education is to differentiate what’s wrong and rightful.

Also, the main reason why growing up kids tend to have a lot to complain about their parents is because they want liberty. But they do not understand why their parents do not allow them so was because they have no responsibility. If they were to inform their parents who they are hanging out with, or where they are going and what will they be doing and what time they will be home, definitely they will be given the green light to go ahead and do whatever they want (that depends on the circumstance). However, if kids promise and they aren’t able to fulfil, they will breach the trust from their parents and how is it possible to even convince them to go out again?

Teaching kids to be responsible is the most crucial thing in the growing up process. Parents will be convinced about their safety and worry less. That’s what builds the trust in the parents to their kids.

(Service to Others)

It is always great to be at a service to others without being asked.

“A little thing like that that teaches you to watch out for someone who is maybe a little less fortunate, or a little less experienced, or a little less further along on any particular road.”  Who do not like being assisted? I mean if I were to see a blind crossing the road, my first instincts would be to rush over and help the blind out. To be able to service others, one must carry this thing called “Love” in them. We are not always rewarded to the good things that we do for people but being able to help someone in need will give the person a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment which I would say it’s an intangible and lasting reward.

Do not teach our children but rewarding them with tangible stuffs for things they have done well like an Iphone4 or Hershey chocolates! We should let them feel for themselves what is the sweetness and warmth that comes from within when one is able to provide a helping hand. They would definitely appreciate this value as time goes by because Service makes you a bigger person.

It’s also really important that parents create opportunities for their kids to provide service in a context that they feel is really meaningful.

(The Love of Learning)

Please agree with me that in today’s society, students are being burdened to study, they whine and protest whenever they are made to learn! Why is that so?

“One of the greatest things we need to do for all the children of the world is to instil in them a great love of learning for a lifetime.”

I don’t think the love for learning is something you instil in a child, it is something they already have! Kids are always curious! They always ask questions, don’t you think so? The fastest way to create the love for learning is to allow them to find our answers themselves. Just like playing a game, when one wins the match, he/she will feel good about it and is always ready to take on more challenges, ready to “level up!” When one is able to solve his/her question him/herself, they will have a great sense of achievement which excites them to learn more but answering their own doubts! Hence, to get them excited all the time towards learning, keep asking them questions! The idea that children are to be seen

and not heard is very wrong. Don’t turn off the innate love of learning and questioning.

(Self-Esteem and the Need for an Excellent Peer Group)

A key goal of learning is to build self-esteem. Get them to learn how to take praises and compliments, each child needs to know that they are good and that self-esteem establishes who they are. It becomes a foundation for the rest of their lives. There might be times whereby we cant do well in certain aspect in life, who doesn’t? So if a child is unable to perform up to his/her standards, you got to let them know. Do not scold, do not insult, because they are only kids, if they are faced with repeated phrases of scoldings and insults, it might just give them more affirmation that they are not great, we might dampen their self-esteem. Let them know the reason for your disappointment, because of how they are brought up, we know how much potential the kid has, tell him/her straight to the face that they are awesome, let them know how much they can accomplish, boost their esteem up and make sure that in the next test, he/she can strive better results and feel great! Gives them the opportunity to go out and achieve and do things that others are conditioned not to do—because the negative was reinforced rather than the positive.

The power of the social groupings that are around these children is so important.

We must purposely help our children learn to be around the right kids. Get the right peer influence. That’s why I wrote a letter to each and every primary 6 kids who are taking their PSLE this week, that they will be exposed to a lot more in the society next year and they are given more liberty, and it is important that they mix with the right group of friends and keep their goals I mind no matter what they do, just be focus! Learning how to work is one of the great joys of life, and so is having the work ethic to do it well.

When it is important that every child need to learn these 5 principles, every adult must model them! Because we all need to work, take responsibilities, serve others, need to embrace a love of life-long learning and need to have high self-esteem and hang

out with the best people on the planet.

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